Lion- Learning to Roar

While painting him I thought "learing to roar" and of "calling awake" the lion I am learning to become. He guards my heart in ways I do not fully understand. The areas I fall short are not to hanious for him to bare. I am fully seen and accepted by him... as he is Me... and so much more than I even know. May I learn to roar unashamed.

Tiny Bubbles

I let the tears come and wash away the paths I've travelled.
The tiny bubbles imprinting a new way, a new design.
Rolling smooth my rough edges, pressing down my imperfections.
Bursting with life my eyelids rise.
It is in each today I learn to see...
I embrace all that makes me Me.

The Ocean Floor

Our love like a deep-sea quest... a chance to shed our outer worries and to dismantle our distractions-to focus on each other. Beginning with you in the deep. Swimming along-side you in tandem. Trusting the weighty life-giving tanks and shamelessly adorning the form-fitting attire for our journey ahead. One with the same breath, I dare dreamt you belonging right here forever and for always. No fear of my raw impressions- the diving suit snuck them passed my radar as it should be- committed to forge ahead into the unknown with you... for you. Not anticipating the need to retrace our steps to come back to the start... to land where I now call here.

The rippling inviting waves so fast churning into a rip-tide, shredding our sense of direction. We lost our True North. The life giving breath we so easily counted on really did run out before our quest was complete. The problems began when I found myself looking back to find you far away and unable to hold your breath. I did not know what to do- how does one breathe for two? Equally out of air, of choice, out of seeming hope... we found ourselves shadowed and desperate. Reaching for each other and finding open hollows. Not enough footing to keep facing forward against the currents, I had to let you go and risk... risk us not meeting upon the surface together as it should have been... together as it should be. The changing tide, the force of wind, the whispers of the past and sin creating a drive to escape. No room for mistake. Our love stretching bare and transparent before the smooth polished stones I once envied. The ones I looked up to.

I wanted to see the beauty, feel the treasures, to know you on the inside. Where the dark and light mingled magic together and where you still found the courage to keep walking. Sense the smell of life and mystery envelope our cares and purify them in our salty mists. I longed for the the sun to rise -one day upon my womb and to let our stars kiss your face- until there was no fear. To count the sand on our shore and know your love for me was still more... more than this shipwreck.

The dust is settling now as I rise, void of your chiseled form, within my peripheral vision. Silhouetted against what I thought was grace, I called your name. I do not know upon what shore you went or know whom you now became. I can not break the cycle of the wind- nore break my heart for you again. Instead I try and convince my soul to sing and wish the stars to bless your head as you seek the path from which we lead... and now I learn to walk again. Before the choral-reefs bid us come and the stones cried out their blessed joy. Beyond the moments I recalled your smile, caught you staring deep beneath my borders, I kept tended for you.

I find myself turning my gaze and finding myself- without you- upon the ocean floor.

This voyage inside me is not over. I quest against the sea which broke your heart and brought you to me. I dare to shatter the barbs of earthen vessels, whom care only about the outside world, and I boldly speak of a love I have not known. The one of my True North whom has come to welcome us home. Home, upon the land of mercy, where life has risen beyond pain and I dare to speak your name again. Knowing my love will not end here. Remembered deep- you are foreshadowed not- I dream you into beauty.

Martyr's March

A witness marches forth renown
Before the peek of piercing stone
Upon the mountain slain, forlorn
A warrior welcomed home.

Full wings abreast wide-eyed heart
Feathered flight once foretold
Beckons fierce imprinted mark
Upon the seeds of time.

Breathing in musky scent of earth
Bent low behind tender kiss

Surrendering force breaks the bond
Of night's listless grip.

Roots

I find myself pondering as I pull weeds. Cavernous twinges of winding life branch and wrap around the pebbles of my path. Entwined richness gripping beneath the earth, yearning to leave their mark within the hollows. While the sun dances and the wind sings, ever growing, the leafy wings of time tell a story. The story of my youth, the journey of my heritage. It's where I have found my roots.

As I whisk away the bulbous forms, which show their heads within this rockbed, I think of you. The ones whom have nourished me and remained the same with unchanging hearts upon a firm foundation. I envelope the tools once held dear in your hands and sense your presence beside me. Unearthing the original scalloped stones once laid and now lovingly discovered and restored. These pebbles bear the imprints of times past and welcome me in the present. I know where I have come from and where I am going.

Those memories of darkness, the weeds of the mind, show themselves more freely as I call upon them. Not afraid of their truth and I am ready to face them. Before they can be shed of their hold, I dare entertain their time untold. I break their heads, their greedy grip, and toss the chaff of mossy residue. Clearing my vision to that of the new I hope in the morning glories rising daily in the weaving of my spirit. It is here I have found where I belong. Unashamed, I sing the joy of my life song.

In loving memory.