Swathed within a tangent illuminating my fears I remember.
The pervasive sensations make their claim as I recall the tremors. Forking from
their centre the emotions wrench without mercy into the vast canvas of my
person. I am motionless.
Thoughts tumbling beside one another making me sick as I
connect the dots. The marking stones of my story tell me something greater.
Something I do not yet understand. The complete comprehensive sums that
describe who I am today are not in the right order. I feel random.
I know there is reason for these new revelations as I brave
the memories before me. Why I quake while being disconnected and run from whom
some say are made to love. Wandering barren in the quarrel of my choices I tempt
to land this sinking body. I let go of false anchor.
Calculated advances invade my frame. Seasoned admissions
begin to speak without my permission. They pierced the heart and quenched this
life. They break the camel’s back and keep pressing. Detailed attack to silence overwhelms me as recollection
introduces itself.
Facing backward I walk parallel within my dreams getting
nowhere quickly. The horizon unwilling to meet me on even terrain I scream for
answers. Why wrestle this child’s soul into the darkness to fend for herself? I
keep my eyes looking forward while my nightmares nudge me back.
Satisfied not the clock chimes in order without end. I pray
my pain is not written within the same signature. Determined to rebut the chill of
frosty touch I debrief my limbs in hopes to walk ahead again. Connected to my
mind and seemingly defined as whole. Although I am forgiving I do not stop
remembering.
