Right down to the last detail, the last minute... the pure hard hitting message.
I went to a retreat called MARK Centre tonight. It was there that an interactive invitation from God enveloped. Eight separate rooms. Each presenting a small facet of God and His desire for us to come to The Marriage Supper. Within these realms of wooing I found these thoughts come tumbling forth...
In the midst of a wounded flight, this soul's journey thwarted yet being righted, God bids me come.
Come in from the cold, shed these wrathful tears, break the masks, and drop this facade...
Brave the journey from the beginning rather than where the world puts me, locked in labels or jeering stigmas. Silence the mocking chimes inside my mind and stop to take a good listen.
To enter into the courts of the Heavens and see, and know, who I am.
He has called me beautiful before. He lavished me immeasurably and undeservedly. He calls me beautiful even now- after everything, after everyone who has stood prowling, after choosing the things I have, and even after taking a glimpse at the lies and alluring things this world offers.
I was bought with a price. I have heard this phrase numerous times before but not the same way as tonight. Sitting in front of a crown of thorns where within a proposal glistened; "with this ring I thee wed". These thorns sharp and invasive, pressing deep and piercing the image I have of myself, calling out who I belong to. Shouting out an invitation, a perfect love that can not even measure in the scale of my heart. Will I take the invitation? Will I respond? It is true that this life, this Jesus that was sacrificed can not be offered again... what more could we ask of Him?
The question is if I am ready, if I am willing. Would I allow my lantern to be lighted again. To rekindle love In Him. Can I sacrifice the desires in this life for the eternal life that was given for me/ in spite of me? Would I have the courage to wait until He calls my name- asking me to "come away my bride". It is here where I find myself welling up, the tears threatening to spill over. Bidding a quick release or a fast fix of my pain. But not so. I must go on through, forward, beyond. I must hold my wick out high gazing upward even though it hurts.
He has One Name and He calls mine like a sweet melody. He calls me Lovely.
This offering of extravagance, shaking the foundation I thought was secure, breaks me. Frees me of the binds that have relentlessly gripped me greedily. A fist poised tightly. Crushing me. This feast which He calls "The Marriage Supper" too plump and too succulent to dine of. I think I am not welcome anymore. Truth is that I am and always have been welcomed... before time itself. Before the lanky lusts of this world told me deceivingly. Before I broke my vows to Him. Before I fell.
Falling hard into conviction- the gong everyone seems to hear. Invasive. Intrusive. Intimidating. Yet intimate... yes intimate. The voice that He whispers deeply within me. Wooing and full of wonder. Full too of thunderous echoes. Blowing away the remnants, the specs, my imperfections. Will I be simply content with this thunder laden voice of reason? This voice of wisdom? This integral truth I have yet to learn? Or will I take a second look, behind the door I call shame, and see the welcome mat on the other side? Can I walk the steps forward, upward, beyond, through... and find myself at the veil. The entrance to His wedding chamber. Our wedding chamber.
I choose to clothe myself in Him. Wrapped and swaddled in a cocoon of sorts. Uninhibited- no longer encumbered with shame or fear. Embraced purely by the One who is pure, painting my scars with whitewashed love. Adorning myself with a New Name. Securely pivoting in, dancing in, the glow of my Maker who calls me "Mine".
I choose to come Home.
"Wow Carly!! loved reading your reflections.. even after hearing it personally from you last night. So amazed at how God met you even when you thought there was no time left :)
I told you last night,.. that maybe,.. just maybe... the theme chosen for this year was JUST for you :) I'd like to think that He orchestrated it to remind you of some simple yet life-altering truths that will reassure you and comfort you as you take steps forward." MARK Centre Staff
