Audience of One

Resting, as messages of truth pour forth like hard hitting forte. Once naive to pain, now practiced and experienced. Perhaps a prodigy to this untimely facet of existence, I hold wisdom.

Ebony notes colour the walls as the shadows fall. Blanketing the floor with muted lines, leading one on in the circles of the mind. Spirals of memories passed, I reflect upon the caverns, in hollow harmony.

White-washed ivory scare the dark away this night. Tempted to skip the sour shrills, I look beyond into a brighter day.  Painted in energetic overtones, where once a symphony of delicate array, displayed peace. I attempt to reclaim my happiness.

Captured in flight, the whimsical echoes fly, I dare hope again. Knowing the order, the intentional  tempo of this life.  Chancing not a spontaneous song, but entering into a timeless treasure.  Prompting a bond.  Both bass and treble, black and white, equally interchanging within the spotlight of my spirit.

I choose to play again even though it hurts. Sitting still, poised and ready, I press my fingertips gently upon the keys. Allowing the beginning and end of each new season to carry a tune into my future. Allowing the melody to sing me a smile as I join into the chorus of my choices.

As sure as the sounds that reach my ears, I know inside it is love I hear.  I choose to follow the conductor, reminding me of my composer. Knowing I have a unique signature, I resound with confidence.  I am part of His favourite collection. I was chosen by the dawn of Love’s light- for an audience of One.

Friend

This dam of mercy rushes forth
Over my levies and my bluffs
Redemption quest for what went wrong
No more separation between us

Rid yourself of poisonous vine
The fire churns as this heart burns
Grip the seeds that were planted
Follow the trail where they landed

Challenge the void of wandering time
Forgetting not the hopeful signs
Leaping over rainbow sky
I leave your heart where it lay

Break through the whispers of the wind
Cut the burden found within
Wash this name as I ask again
May I always call you Friend

Covenant Song

Red blood pours down around His face, the thorns unrelenting.
A warrior’s cry of grace. 

Orange fire descending from His throne, calling you. It is time to come home.

Yellow love, like glorious joy, wells up within. The presence of God whom we delight in.
Green sprigs of lushes growth, a healing mark. Hope of restoration. 
Our heavenly start.
Waters of Blue, streaming of life. Flow Holy Spirit, cleanse us of strife.
Purple promise and purpose, a place to belong. 
All priesthood and kingship, sing a covenant song.

My little sister left me a neat surprise in my Christmas stocking this year. She had drawn my name in bubble letters and wrote at the top "red and yellow, pink and green and purple and blue- I can sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow too".

I thought of the story of Noah where God flooded the earth, all except for those living in an ark. After the season of flooding had come and gone, God gave the promise of a rainbow. A covenant with Noah that He would never destroy the whole earth again.

Rainbows have been so powerful in meaning to me for a long time. Now I more clearly understand why. May we never stop singing praise, a living thanks, a covenant song. A cry of purpose and gratitude, to our God. To our Father whom has declared, we forever have a place to belong.

Freedom

There is no greater gift, from one heart to another, than the gift of FREEDOM.
Surpassing the failing of materialistic perks in life and truly outlasting life itself.

The ability to move forward.
The assurance that everything is and will be okay.
The abundance of grace offered without monetary charge.
Quickens one heart to another in a bond as strong as love.
Freedom is being able to be everything, and more than, who we think it is we are.
The endless possibilities made possible without a doubt.
Today I have been gifted this form of freedom, as also whithin everyday I exist.
More so seen, experienced, and valued without deserving without asking.

Thank you mom for loving me more than I desire and making a way for me, while on my quest to becoming and maintaing who it is I am in Christ.

Yours truly,
Me

A Metaphoric Metamorphosis

Metaphorically speaking, it is time to stop and stretch my wings. To pause and release the tension and rid myself of accumulated dust. The fragments of debris that clog my spirit and tempt me to venture places I have no place being. Time to be reborn in the Secret Place.

I am no longer a caterpillar on the ground, stuffing myself with emotional junk food. I find myself stopping to take a breath within the stillness of my skin. No longer content with the underground dirt of life but seeking the beauty I know is on my horizon. A horizon spiced with the ebb and flow of grace and mercy. A path that has peeks and valleys, balanced with faith inside the scale of my heart.

I am being enclosed in new boundaries, new walls, new skills, new hopes which hold me gently. Cocooning me. Transforming me within layers of budding wisdom. The walls of my spirit learning where to be transparent, where to be firm and immovable, how to become unshakable. I can let love permeate by the power of osmosis or I can learn how to open a window and let the light in- without exposing all of me prematurely.

I am on a new flight path. A migrating journey to the Father's mercy seat. Partaking of the spiritual nectar, freedom brings, yet living within the walls of the world. In a sense being scoured clean. Each bristle engraving me and polishing me, expelling stagnant residue and infusing me with newness.

Pealed like an onion from the inside out. The fresh spritz, within each experience, rubbing off on the hands who peal me. Emmiting lively zest. Leaving an impression, leaving my mark. The reason I was created. It is here, within each layer of refining, treasures are born.

Metronome

I watch the tracks of passing time

Human frailty of flesh unwinds

On defence tucked under sapphire sky

This wrong-ward course leads me awry

Moments pass by like metronome

Beyond pale sun I'm welcomed home.

I Close the Doors

I wipe my cheeks moist with dew

Droplets of time are washed away

I find myself thinking of you.

Pitter patter on the ground

That is where my heart is found.

I close the doors to my eyes

Sweeping tears I have cried.

A mask bestowed upon me now

I have no answers to why or how.

Peeking out from inside

This wound is open far and wide.

To rid myself of this grief

My thoughts of you must be brief.

To shed this heart of its thorns

I must believe- Friendship between us can be reborn.

Hollow Song

Strike a match; blow your horn

Blaze a trail. Fly on...

Even though your heart is torn.

Echoes ring in chambered heart

Quench the burning embers bright.

Breeze take flight on these wings of dawn

Unlock the shackles of this cold night.

Do not be allured on slippery slope

The ravishing clashing of earthly hands

Seek clarity instead of human demands.

Quest for purity- a living hope

Strip your garments stained in red.

Blood shed not by scars on His head;

Earthly assurance must give way

Truth be known or in bondage we stay.

Harbour not this love of flesh too long

Love out of season: brings a hollow song.

Dine not in selfish conceited array

Forgiveness I ask as I face this new day.

Son kiss the tips of these torn wings

Savior replace in me my song of shame

Ignite once more Eternity's ring.

Growing Pains

Looking inside I see a woman who has seen and experienced so many things. Someone who has come so far. In reflection, I wonder how it is I came to stand where it is I stand right now. Is there a specific reason that this life has unravelled and yet found a way to piece itself back together again? What is the glue that holds me steadfast and calls me courageous?

The years that have chipped away and dug at me, while living through trauma, and yet remaining today wisely determined. Focused on allowing change to cultivate growth in me. There have been so many times that I have fallen and chosen to lay there without strength to stand again. Moments that have churned within me threatening to curdle my joy into something foul. Segments of time where hopelessness called my name louder than peace could. Yet, I have moved ahead. I have overcome.

Now I see a woman courageous, yearning and bidding wisdom be birthed within every new experience. I cry out sometimes when the unknown beckons me and I step backwards often before I can take two steps forward. I have realised however, that the painful times are what make me able to hold peace and have shown me how to trust in something bigger than myself. Without pain I would not comprehend grace. Without grace I would not embrace the power of forgiveness. Grace and forgiveness are my stepping stones to hope... to a life worth living. To a life worth loving.

Yes there have been times I think it would be better to bow out and stop fighting for hope. It is now that I profoundly see that it is hope who has fought for me. Hope has never given up on me. It has kept me dreaming and has graced me to keep loving through the pain and in spite of my human nature.

In this season, hurt has been prowling around. The emotional tugs that try to weight my heart to the floor like a lead balloon. I sense it lurking but, this I know, it has a weakness. I choose to love, I choose to laugh, I choose to keep walking even when sorrow attempts to shake me off of my foundation. My hope is secure even if my emotions waver. I ascribe greatness even if I do not feel great. Changing my thoughts and willing them to speak louder than the lies. Being accountable not to what my mind says about me but being true to who it is God has made me. I choose to accept these growing pains and embrace the depth which they are inviting me into.

Selfish longing, I let you go. Ashamed reasoning, I release you. Bargaining, I steer away from you. Heart strings, I seek to tune you. False witness, I ignore you. Hope deferred, I call you out. Wrong timing, I set you right. Growing pains I receive you, and continue walking in this journey to step forth gracefully, into this heart of light.

Papa's House

Papa's House

Great earth full of crisp new seed

Tender well-worked hands do nourish;

An apple tree marks its place

By the gate to welcome.

Green blades decorate

Vast is the horizon;

Small friends do share the pleasue

Tickly to the footed touch.

Flitting are the sun-kissed wings

A butterfly does float past;

Tiny eyes peeking out

Hands pressed upon the glass.

Artist hands move skilfully through

Forward beyond rooms we've known;

Peeling layers, buffing pearls

Of wisdom we didn't know we knew.

Roots knotted, running deep

Firm is the foundation;

Pillars of the walls do stand

We are pillars of the land.

Tending gardens of the heart

Growing grace and beauty;

Papa's House has many rooms

All to which are welcome!

Mine

Tonight was, and could have only been, orchestrated by God.
Right down to the last detail, the last minute... the pure hard hitting message.

I went to a retreat called MARK Centre tonight. It was there that an interactive invitation from God enveloped. Eight separate rooms. Each presenting a small facet of God and His desire for us to come to The Marriage Supper. Within these realms of wooing I found these thoughts come tumbling forth...

In the midst of a wounded flight, this soul's journey thwarted yet being righted, God bids me come.
Come in from the cold, shed these wrathful tears, break the masks, and drop this facade...
Brave the journey from the beginning rather than where the world puts me, locked in labels or jeering stigmas. Silence the mocking chimes inside my mind and stop to take a good listen.

To enter into the courts of the Heavens and see, and know, who I am.

He has called me beautiful before. He lavished me immeasurably and undeservedly. He calls me beautiful even now- after everything, after everyone who has stood prowling, after choosing the things I have, and even after taking a glimpse at the lies and alluring things this world offers.

I was bought with a price. I have heard this phrase numerous times before but not the same way as tonight. Sitting in front of a crown of thorns where within a proposal glistened; "with this ring I thee wed". These thorns sharp and invasive, pressing deep and piercing the image I have of myself, calling out who I belong to. Shouting out an invitation, a perfect love that can not even measure in the scale of my heart. Will I take the invitation? Will I respond? It is true that this life, this Jesus that was sacrificed can not be offered again... what more could we ask of Him?

The question is if I am ready, if I am willing. Would I allow my lantern to be lighted again. To rekindle love In Him. Can I sacrifice the desires in this life for the eternal life that was given for me/ in spite of me? Would I have the courage to wait until He calls my name- asking me to "come away my bride". It is here where I find myself welling up, the tears threatening to spill over. Bidding a quick release or a fast fix of my pain. But not so. I must go on through, forward, beyond. I must hold my wick out high gazing upward even though it hurts.

He has One Name and He calls mine like a sweet melody. He calls me Lovely.

This offering of extravagance, shaking the foundation I thought was secure, breaks me. Frees me of the binds that have relentlessly gripped me greedily. A fist poised tightly. Crushing me. This feast which He calls "The Marriage Supper" too plump and too succulent to dine of. I think I am not welcome anymore. Truth is that I am and always have been welcomed... before time itself. Before the lanky lusts of this world told me deceivingly. Before I broke my vows to Him. Before I fell.

Falling hard into conviction- the gong everyone seems to hear. Invasive. Intrusive. Intimidating. Yet intimate... yes intimate. The voice that He whispers deeply within me. Wooing and full of wonder. Full too of thunderous echoes. Blowing away the remnants, the specs, my imperfections. Will I be simply content with this thunder laden voice of reason? This voice of wisdom? This integral truth I have yet to learn? Or will I take a second look, behind the door I call shame, and see the welcome mat on the other side? Can I walk the steps forward, upward, beyond, through... and find myself at the veil. The entrance to His wedding chamber. Our wedding chamber.

I choose to clothe myself in Him. Wrapped and swaddled in a cocoon of sorts. Uninhibited- no longer encumbered with shame or fear. Embraced purely by the One who is pure, painting my scars with whitewashed love. Adorning myself with a New Name. Securely pivoting in, dancing in, the glow of my Maker who calls me "Mine".

I choose to come Home.

"Wow Carly!! loved reading your reflections.. even after hearing it personally from you last night. So amazed at how God met you even when you thought there was no time left :)

I told you last night,.. that maybe,.. just maybe... the theme chosen for this year was JUST for you :) I'd like to think that He orchestrated it to remind you of some simple yet life-altering truths that will reassure you and comfort you as you take steps forward." MARK Centre Staff

Jewelry Box

I can not express the awe I feel at such a gift. I went to a "White Elephant Gift Exchange" today with a group of women I am growing to love. We did not know who would get the gift we brought and would not know whose gift we would receive.

As some of you have previously read, I have just come across a beautiful butterfly necklace (see older post) which has great significance to me. I had been taking it off and hanging it on a tack by the head of my bed each night- for lack of a better place to put it.

Not only will this little box guard my special necklace but it will also remind me of how God knows even the most smallest hint of a desire that we hold close within. Purple holds the meaning of "royalty" and the number five (there are five glass "butterflies" on the lid) holds the meaning of grace symbolically speaking. I could not have asked for such a timely gift or have given such precious detail to describe such a treasure.

I will hold this treasure close just as God holds all of me close.

The Ember Days: Cocoon

Such a great song!


Hold me close
Wrapped in arms

Like a butterfly in a cocoon
Like a butterfly in a cocoon

Fragile as I am
You must be careful
Gentle are the wings
They’ve just been born

Like a butterfly in a cocoon
Like a butterfly in a cocoon

Kiss me now
For the first time
And say to me
That you are mine

Hope in Motion

The whimsical strings of music fly,
in fluttering motion of this hearts eye.
Come count the cost for what was lost,
upon the dawn we'll rise.
Over wondering hilltop climb am I,
And loose the binds that made me cry.
Sing, oh Savior, sing sweet to me,
Over these war torn wings;
Hope in motion, this butterfly brings.

A Living Sacrifice: The War Between Offering Quality Time and Surrendering All that we Have

I am all for the concept of gifting quality time to those in my life. Building relationships in between the margins of my responsibilities. I was challenged however, about the difference between such moments given and the concept of offering our whole selves. Sacrificing our whole hearts rather than capping our hearts ability to love within a time line. Within boundaries where once the goal is achieved one can then step back and step away and become an observer rather than a participant.

Ok so, you might be asking where I am going with this. What is she talking about? You may be saying how you value quality time and that you cherish receiving it too! Absolutely right. Quality time is immensely appreciated, yearned for, and embraced. I am however throwing out this idea of being able to offer that quality time from a heart that does not stop offering within a physical time space. Not clocked but rather continuous. Not measured but all encompassing, all nurturing, all knowing... No we cant be perfect but I know God is. He can be all these things and He is training us up to be in His likeness.

Gods name is a place of protection, a place of refuge... we can run to Him anytime. He does not say, "hey kids you can come to me between 8am and 4pm when I am on the clock. I will be available then and only then, but in this time I will give you the best that I have... (that should make up for the times I am  not available right?)''. No He is, in His entirety, always on the clock so to speak. We can go to Him in confidence that He will always be there and He does not have a concept of after hours or of taking a message. In fact He simply is not contained in time.

We build into others identities when we invest into them. When we do not measure the cost it takes to love on someone unconditionally. Yes, we need boundaries so that we do not give and give and give and burn out. Lets not have that boundary be time. Lets allow ourselves to be fully available, to our peers, to our co-workers, to our families, to our own growth journey all the time. Not having to be perfect or happy or put together all the time but rather real and open to living a raw life wrapped in transparency. Wrapped in honesty and graced with mercy and spiced with wisdom.

Let us learn the discipline of steeping ourselves in God's provision so that when we are running on empty there is still something left to offer those we find in our company. Consumed fully by the assurance that there is always someone to run to in times of trials and being willing to add ourselves to God's army. The army that watches over and diligently seeks after the good of those that love Him and more importantly for those that do not know Him. Being assigned as a pillar in our sphere of influence. Not pressed for time but imprinted by the fingerprint of God. The mark of unfailing love- as a living sacrifice. Let us not be time keepers but rather keepers of the heart.

This Adventure Called Love

Sometimes there really is not an answer for our questions. That is when we have to turn within and really seek what it is we are about to learn. Life brings various people and experiences before us that shape us and mold us. Often we think we understand just what it is that we are to do or think we know what choices to make. Fortunately, for us, we are not supposed to know our future. It hurts sometimes- the not knowing, the wondering, the wanting of something we are not sure how to get. This is when we have to choose to keep walking our path and to learn to embrace the unknown.

It is in the surrendering of our need to control what happens to us that we sense a release. A type of freedom. Willing ourselves to not fear the ending which has already begun. Taking a stance of contentment within the sight of adventure. Looking through lenses of spontaneity, allowing time to have a life of its own. It is in these moments where we learn our most valuable lessons. Illuminating inside of us who we really are, what it is we dream of, how we want to walk that next step forward... and most importantly learning how to love.

Building a wall around our hearts just keeps us stagnant and sanitised from the natural event called change. We have to forge forward into the unknown even when it hurts. Not letting our hearts fall to the wayside just because it seems easier to let it go. Giving up on the passions that characterise our very being is detrimental to living. Without a muse in life that we are drawn to with every ounce of ourselves, living seems pointless.

Lets dare to do more than simply move through the motions of time. Taking a second, third, forth, and hundredth look at what lies before us. Deciding what it is we are going to pick up and adorn ourselves with when an array of options lay in front of us. We can sit back and take the leftovers or we can ignite soul within ourselves and fight for the desires that are birthed with each passing moment. Not squandering off the treasures we think we have but glancing again and discovering that underneath those treasures is what gives us purpose. The meaning of life, one dares to hope, is something more than waiting where it is we find ourselves standing right this minute.

When pain strikes a nerve in us and creates a paralysing force that urges us to freeze, no matter where the wind of change is bidding us, we have to make a choice. Is this life valuable enough to challenge the tides and currents? Can we make it over our continuously rising and falling emotions? Absolutely. We may not be able to rewrite our beginning but one thing I know for sure is that we can surly start from today and rewrite our ending.

All this to say, I find myself standing at the door of change. An internal shifting brews beneath the surface of my heart. Will I stop my heart from feeling what it does? Will I mask truth in order to save face? Definitely not. I am learning to instill within the depths of my spirit an integrity, a nature of freedom, a stance of peace, and a soul turned heavenward. Questing beyond the norm, beyond the external expectations, looking for and identifying with what is best for me. What it is that drives my purpose forward instead of falling and stumbling backward. Learning in each timely moment one more facet of this journey called life, more pointedly, this adventure called love.

I Refuse To Drown

Freakish frenzy clashing joints;
Denied release creates strife.
Reaching up, stretching growth;
Muscles atrophied.
Declaring war on these wounds;
Battle scars erased.
Butting heads is no more;
Be gone pain, prickly thorn!
Shoulders up against the wind;
Storm is dying down.
Take aim and make your mark;
I refuse to Drown.

Hug

A much needed hug when things just don't go how we plan, a hug is great medicine.

Thank you Papa.

Sleep Butterfly Sleep

Sleep Sleep in the arms of freedom
Weep not for what is lost
Rest assured you are precious
Beyond everything endured
Sleep Sleep with your heart wide open
Wrestle not for what is stolen
Quiet the storms from within
Become your best friend
Sleep sleep upon a pillow of peace
Whisper mercy over all shame
Bestow grace wherever you go
Do not be slow to love
Sleep Sleep in beauty transcending
Upon shadows, over darkness
Silence all condemnation
Forgiveness is stronger
Sleep Butterfly Sleep.

Butterfly Necklace

I came across a necklace today that reminds me of the spirit of this blog.
It is a heart with a butterfly set inside it. The jewelry maker symbolises butterflies as meaning to be free. I second her thoughts.

Upon following my instincts to find a simple necklace for myself, which would remind me of the strength and purpose I have, I was rewarded immeasurably.

Life really hasn't been easy. I am usually positive in my blog, yet tonight I bear a burdened heart.
The quest for such a life a butterfly may have, lead with free spirited fluttering, is difficult to see in a world with so much pain and bondage.
I see my heart slowly unravelling its barricaded blossoms. Bidding the scales to tumble down like my tears. Seeking the maturity and the grace to live with a heart of mercy towards both myself and others.
Allowing the thorns to be painfully pulled out and yet also allowing the relief the freedom brings. Lightening my struggles and transforming them into experiences of new knowledge. The symbol of this necklace is priceless, I wear it with anticipation of what is to come.

This butterfly yearns to fly higher. Open minded, I dare achieve while taking one step at a time. Feeling the wind currents, testing their force, and willing myself to let go.

This is...

This is purity bubbling and stirring,
This is tender hearted and courageous,
This is safe-to-be vulnerable,
This is a deep breath together,
This is a dance with our fingers,
This is sharing of strength,
This is warmth in the cold,
This is thoughtful prayers,
This is discovery of devotion,
This is worship together,
This is the journey of all time.

Arms of my Savior

Found myself snuggled in
Head on chest
Arms soft and firm around me.
Eyes flutter closed as I listen
Listen to your breathing
Your whispers of endearment
Listen to your heartbeat.
Lost in your arms
Your soft caresses.
My Angel arms,
Holding me safe
Welcoming the peaceful surrender
of slumber, of Trust

Wrapped in the arms of my Savior.

Loving Each One

Moved by a story depicted in a movie tonight...
Intensifying and striking strong the power of love- the healing it brings.
One soul's pain becomes the beginning of another's hope- when that pain is allowed to turn into empathy.
Braving the path of remnants, that require us to remember, in order to offer meaning to others and to ourselves.
Tenacity, wisdom, poise, compassion, sacrifice... often birthed in sorrow yet lead, when willing, to fly comfort in another's sufferings.
Each journey adding to our wealth of depth. Our wellspring of character.
Molding us and allowing our experiences to take on a transparent vulnerablity, as we gift our pains in the form of peace.
May we ascribe greatness and live in mercy; dedicated to the servitude of those special, or unsightly, whom are entrusted to us each day.
Loving each one on purpose.

Butterfly Painting

Painted by Carly

Along the Roadside

I came across a man today, along the roadside;

I didn't know what help to give, as he knelt down and cried.

So I asked him what he needed, I extended my heart and soul;

And he answered with a broken heart, with a pain I have never known.

 He said, “All that I need is love, My heart and soul are dry.

I have no family left you see, this is why I cry.”

 I asked if he realized, that he is never alone;

He said, “pain is all I feel inside, and all love has gone away,

I can't imagine living here, for another day”

 I knelt down there beside him, and asked if I could pray,

He said, “I've tried to reach your God before, but didn't know what to say”

My tears were rolling down my cheek, as I put my hand in his,

I shared with him the story, of how Jesus took our sin.

 His eyes were wet and red by now, his heart was melting too;

He couldn't believe the love God gives, how he shares it with me and you.

Just then he started to walk away, I asked if he would stay;

He said, “you've given me a hope and love today, to last the rest of my days”

He smiled and took my hand in his, and wiped my tears away;

He said, “you did the same for me today, when you took the time to pray”

 I looked into his face then, and I saw something new;

A light that wasn't there before, a twinkle in his eye,

He said, “It came from the joy I feel now, walking by Gods side.

The path is not so lonely now, I have a father who loves,

He has given me a life today, that lasts beyond the grave,

He mended up my broken heart, and now my soul is saved”

 He said, “this is what you gave to me, when you put your fears aside;

And you weren't afraid to help a man, along the roadside”

Written by Carly

Balance Blend Bread

So, I have learned a lesson about holding the slightest grudge with a true friend. Be it only for a few hours. Even though it was in gest and really not a hardened heart grudge... I found it hard to sleep peacefully. Thus am up at 4:45am.
Now the crazy thing is that I was dreaming about making bread for the person I was a bit miffed at. Not intentionally but in a manner that surprizingly helped me feel forgiveness towards them without even looking for it naturally. I guess you can say that I have found that I need to feel balanced in my relationships and when things are off kilter well so is my peace level.
So, friend whom I was miffed at, I send you visions of spiced bread and warm milk at your doorstep tonight. Lets call it a Balance Blend Bread!
Sleep well.
Maybe now I can too!

Lyrics: The Goldfish Song By Kina Grannis

"I feel defeated again
I'm always losing to myself
I tried to build a better me
Shack to castle and it fell down

I had the right intentions
Sometimes, my hope envelopes me
And I can't learn the lesson
Not to send a goldfish to the sea

This matter is mine
Don't worry, I'm fine
This matter is mine
I'm not going to give it up

I know what you've been thinking
Too soon to empty my cocoon
This butterfly is not ready
Wouldn't she know better than you?

This matter is mine
Don't worry, I'm fine
This matter is mine
I'm not going to give it up"

Dare to Love

Standing in redemption, I dare love like Christ made me fully equipped to love before the beginning of time as we know it.

May we not let time or misguided longing set the path of our future but may we be rooted together in love beyond measure, surpassing the test of time.  Quenching the idle whims of the devil and knowing our place in the glory of heaven.

In the journey we forge toward wholeness, let not our hearts grow faint or our lights grow dim. I urge and decree for steadfast faith, true honour, and perfect love which cast out fear.

Its Time

Iron sharpens iron
The sea makes its own path
The heart moves mountains
Against time, slow or fast.

Sculpted wings of iron fly
Calm waters call strife to die
Hearts entwined become one
Passed many moons and many suns.

Chains be broken off
Water calm the soul
Hearts with one another
Proclaiming it's time to soar.

When

When the mountain is too steep,

And your smile is hard to keep,

When your spirit gets too weak,

Jesus is the one to seek.

 When your world is spinning round,

And your feet are off hard ground,

When your hope can not be found,

Turn your eyes heaven bound.

 When temptation is very real,

Torn inside which way to feel,

When your mind and soul need to heal,

His strength and peace he will reveal.

 When your heart starts to break,

So many things in life's at stake,

When it's time your choice to make,

Give your life for him to take.

 When your spirit starts to cry,

And the tear falls from your eye,

When all hope is gone to try,

Jesus love will help you by.

 When you feel you’re all alone,

All your joy and love has flown,

Tears and pain your heart has sewn,

Give him all the hurt you've known.

 When you see his love is real,

Peace and love your heart will feel,

Your mind and soul his touch will heal,

Forever in his arms he'll seal.

 When you pray he'll set you free,

Jesus precious child you'll be,

He is our father and friend you see,

He died to save you and me.

Written by Carly

The Recipe for Deception

As seen in Joshua 9, there are five main steps that lead to complete bondage when entertaining our enemies ploy for deception.
1. We need to have been willing to suspend our disbelief and or entertain our doubt.
    We see the Gibeonite's "craftiness" in Verses 3-6
2. Participation with the enemies ploy.
    Verse 14 shows the Israelite's partaking of the Gibeonite's provisions without the counsel of the Lord.
3. We then find ourselves in a compromised position.
    Verse 15 lends evidence that Joshua had to make peace with the Gibeonites.
4. Being in that compromised position leads to being forced into a covenant/agreement with the enemy.
    Verse 16 depicts this clearly. Often by this point it seems that it is too late to retract ones steps out of the trapping ruse of the enemy.
5. Finally, we then live in bondage.
    Verse 23 sadly illuminates the affects of folly upon the Gibeonites. Living then under curse and bound to slavery. Further, they also say to Joshua in Verse 25 "now behold we are in your hands; do as it seems good and right in your sight to do to us. Sealing their fate for the rest of their lives.

Take careful note of the slippery slope of the Devil's schemes and may you make choices with a sound mind centred in Christ Jesus. Fortunately, we have the solution and freedom of bondage already given to us in the form of Jesus who died for us. He has released us from the shackles of Satan. However, we also need to watch out for who we are following, walking in spiritual redemption, rather than simply accepting the release of our bonds to sin. Christ has made a way for eternal life. Lets walk in it!
See Acts 12:6-10 when Peter is released from bondage.

Dear LORD

Dear LORD!

Guide my feet oh God- Just give me Jesus! I need Jesus. All of me, inside and out yearns for the grace and touch, the life of Jesus- actually evident in me rather than just spoken about from me.
Set me free to jump and dive into the unknown with so much joy and peace that the enemy has no room for doubt or residency in the cracks of my humanness.
Remind me that the victory is won Oh God, my God who sits on the throne with Jesus. He who died for me, for us, for all to be free and victorious in the battle.

Rip off the thorns that cling, the hooks that grapple, the barbs that dig beyond my flesh. Strip away the mind-birthed notions thwarting Your sovereignty in my life.

Attention Devil!

Today you try and thwart the love and life of my God, the God who knows more about you than I do.
Beware opponent, that you are not in the power to mess around with the hope of Nations and the King of Kings! You are not in authority to lead God, in me, astray!
He has already won victory over you! Or have you forgotten!? Pack up your lies and your buddies and jet out of town! This temple belongs to God- He who shuts the mouth of the darkness and crushes you, oh serpent, under His foot.
On guard confusion! Be gone back to where you have already been sent by the Alpha and Omega.

He is the end of you and the beginning of LIFE for ALL His children!

About face and submit in Jesus Name!

A New Day

Under yellow tipped rays
Lifting one’s head
Holding  on tight- roots bend.
Unfolding, reaching, changing
A new day has come...
Until we reach home.

Written by Carly

Faithfulness

When I was a little girl,

I was scared and all alone,

But Jesus came and picked me up,

And gave my heart a home.

He stripped away my bitterness,

And filled my heart with love,

I gained all my strength and peace,

From my father up above.

When my dad abused me,

I would hide within God’s care,

The pain that dad intended to cause,

Couldn't harm me there.

When my mom abandoned me,

I had God's hand to hold,

He promised he would never leave,

Even when I'm old.

I am a young lady now,

My heart is mending still,

From the hurt this world has caused,

But with God's peace my heart with fill.

A new family I have now

One that wipes away my tears

I was adopted unconditionally

For the duration of my years.

He has given me a desire,

To help and serve those in need,

A servant of God I long to be,

He nourished my dream like a seed.

To orphans I long to share

To love, support, and guide

The love God has given me

I choose never to set aside.

We are his children of mercy

Children of hope, truth, and light

Take up your cross and follow him

With God we have strength and might.

Take these words and gain hope,

From our father up above,

He has shown his faithfulness to me,

He has given us his love.

Written by Calry

A Season for Thankfulness

The first thing that comes to mind is MUSIC-  a voice to the soul when it has no words, the sounds that permeate even through matters of the heart- to open doors that one has tried to lock. The vibrations through the air that shake the dust off ones feet- to dance again- giving life to SPIRIT. Free flowing and soothing or hard hitting “Forte” it moves me beyond the shadows into radiance- into the light that touches the heavenward gaze of this dancing girl- Feeling freedom. Surpassing even the test of time.

The second thing that comes to mind is COLOR- a voice to the soul when it has no words. Painting the heart of this creative girl with ribbons of LOVE. Opening up the chambers of one’s mind with visions brighter than fleeting emotions. Caressing even the darkest place blossoming PEACE- surpassing generations.

 The third thing (meaning more in the addition of the first two) are WORDS- once spoken cannot be detracted, bringing lasting HOPE into the farthest FUTURE. Food for the soul when it has no words to adequately model the TRUTH in a world lost, at no small cost, to the SON of GOD. Capturing the very HISTORY that saved mankind and marking the lives of those who meditate on GOD’s WORDS day and night.

The Fourth thing that comes to mind, in reading the third, is LOVE- Casting out all fear, building the very FOUNDATION of our here and now- giving this girl GRACE to live despite events past. Melting barriers that pain seeks to disrupt that nature to fully TRUST.

The fifth thing- I love the number 5!- is CHILDLIKE FAITH- only lasting in the borders of all the things written above. The PERMISSION to experience everything “as if it were the first time”- untainted, spontaneous and BEAUTIFUL.

I am reminded of another thing- LAUGHTER- the best medicine, even when words are lacking to say how funny LIFE is sometimes. A sound left unmeasured or containable as it has a life of its own- spilling out of the heart where LOVE LIVES.... FOREVER.

The Seventh thing that comes to mind is WATER-  marking time as it ebbs and flows with the tide- bringing in TREASURES and washing away shame. Calming, yet riveting movement, attracting the eye and allowing one to move through time (memories) as its sound remains the same. The lapping sea, the tiny drops, the rushing rivers- never gone- never ending. Birthing life for without it one cannot live.

Finally, for now, the last thing is PASSION- the ability to SEE things differently, DEEPLY, lasting with ones DEVOTION to remember its okay to FEEL- really feel and EXPRESS yourself UNASHAMEDLY- beyond all risk- marking VALOR, STRENGTH, and HONOR. The very essence of COURAGE in the making!

Time Will Tell

What a concept that time would be our currency. In a way it really is... as all we can bring to heaven are souls... and winning just one- takes time. Quality time. Investing in love rather than in selfish intent.

Forging ahead as to purpose life for others by giving of our very breathe. The phrase “it’s not really stealing if it’s already stolen” is intriguing. We live at the cost of the very life that only God can offer... We stole that life from Him but at the same time He freely gave it. One can argue the concept of deserving life but I fail to accept my worth in that regard. Rather, believing that I am undeserving and learning the true worth I have been given through Him and only Him.

Only one man had to die for all mankind, His name is Jesus. The false belief in the movie “In Time”, for those in lack of need for time, was that many must die at the price of one to live- forever. I am dumbstruck as in truth only one died and the price is already paid for ALL who believe... and LIVE.  A price paid forever and cannot be stolen.

Who on earth could really make their life count with frivolous meanderings and thoughtless goals. We fail to see the purpose in the glimpse of life we dare think is ours. Questing to become someone or something rather than loving the one in front of us, including our very selves.  Abusing life as if it is worth nothing, abusing self as if we are nothing. 

Asking oneself how they value each second is a monumental discovery. Succumbing to realize the waste we in fact deny. Righteously choosing to ignore such ponderings, as if their truths would devour us inside. The truth is they do.  Daring to magnify our greed and lust for more of what will only be taken away from us. Pointless gain for nothing. Powerless loss for nothing.  Everyone ending life in the same state- dissatisfied and disappointed.

Ambitions to strive to better oneself can only begin in surrender. Willingly and joyfully able to sacrifice the very thing we long to prolong. In some cases to erase. All for what, some may ask and remain asking, until the end of time itself. Where there and then truth is known beyond comprehension. The true value of the Living Sacrifice in the One that was given for us. The One who loved to the point of death.

Some may presume to die is gain for the hope of many. Breaking stereotypes and rewriting the definition of what we think is sacrifice of oneself. It is rare that one would follow through with this belief. Challenging those who waste life, profoundly proclaiming everyone is for themselves. Neglecting the responsibility we have for the souls entrusted to us, failing them and leaving us all wanting. Never satisfied and unwilling to change, begging the question, what next. Unfortunately only time will tell.

May you determine who you will serve, yourself or Christ. Today is just as imporatant as all the tommorws in the world. Lets not waist the quality time that we have right now.

Ponderings

Sometimes I feel like I put my foot in my mouth at the wrong time and I am not sure it if I can make amends for it. What does a person do when their heart is breaking and they feel like they are not being heard?

Can a raindrop fall and loose its beauty? Can a leaf fall and rip apart a strong man? Would the wind wipe away a mountain and make way for a king?
If a breath could revive a princess I would be one;I need breath, with yellow hair and sea-scape eyes. Wrapped in ribbons and free of lies. Conformed to the might of a warrior and radiant in poise. Wound tightly in the arms of my lover seeking finding rejoicing, free. A carefree lover in the depth of a soul tuned heavenward.

If a flower petal could blend into a message and a breeze could tell a story, if a cloud could cover worry and mask my rejection. If a tower could bring me to new heights and great revelation, I would move there. On a mountain with greenery in every spec. Life in every shadow. Whispers of change in every beat of a warrior heart. My heart. Willing the might of movement, the grace of sound judgment . The pulse of victory running into new territory not yet discovered. Whimsical dreams floating, flying , freeing.

 Only time can tell where the heart is. Hidden in the wings of hope I wait for change.

We are Courageous

We are Courageous, in times of the toughest choices
Steadfast, in times of putting others first, loving ourselves, and finding refuge in Him at all times!
Loyal, even to a practical stranger.
We are a deep breath of calm waters as storms rage and winds blow from all directions.
We are the Daughtesr that God has called perfect and holy in His sight.
We are the Ones that only we can be and we do it on purpose with radiance and servitude.
There in not another you because God longs for you to stand out against the norm to change not only those around you but to influence and better the world.
There is life, peace, hope, championship, devotion, grace, determination and sheer will inside of you.
God is our centre- no doubt about it.
Freedom knocks at our door and we are not afraid to open it and walk in it.
Our joy and freedom of expression and worship is an extension of who we are in Christ, and we are amazing women - asking for help, fighting for life, and setting our sites on His Purpose & Dreams for us.

We are a new creation and one that is so strong in nature and truth and integrity.
We see light bursting out of our soul that ignites even the darkest places. Sparking the seeds of life that should grow there (the ones that God has planted but asks us to water)
Yesterdays are important to us but don’t rule us, rather teach us and guide us into a great now and greater future.
We are fighters and unique survivors.
Our dreams are valuable and even if some seem to have been stripped away, they are not destroyed and are there in us for a purpose to speak out passion and to allow God to guide us into that next place of purpose.
God has been our only true family; He desires to bless us, and give us gifts yet unknown.

We are leaders before receivers but also know how and when to receive and care for ourselves- Balance.
Wisdom comes in so many forms and ours is rare- beautiful and not to be ignored. Don’t let anyone make you feel less of a woman because of how you live, See the world and express yourself.
We worship through expressions of music, art and vocalization - do it on purpose... be the Rachel that God calls you to be- the one who is loved, PATIENT, sensitive to God's voice, and His timing.
IN Christ erase the lies that you are different and that it is somehow underappreciated... be you and do it on purpose in the character of our God.
Humility wraps itself around us like a cloak and drenches us in jewel-like love.
We are a masterpiece designed and crafted by the master crafter... we are his art! There are no mistakes in art!!!
Honesty is our voice of witness- in good or bad we are transparent and real- that is huge in a world that is full of liars and ones who steal and destroy to gain power.
Wonder and joy keep our heart soft like a little girl- the lost sheep that was always seen and never harmed in Gods sight
You are worth more than gold, you are worth the very nails that pierced Jesus and saved your soul!
The Blood of the lamb is marked on our threshold and covers us and our present & future households!
You really are an angel- a soul used by God to bring healing and restoration to the needy as you understand need and seek to help others beyond measure.

The tears of our hearts soften the very stones that have been thrown at us and wash them into pearls of great price- setting us free.
The Words of truth by our tongue sharpen others into people of value and our actions speak louder than our words...
Tenderness is evident in everything we do. We are righteous in Gods eyes and we are a woman that will be rewarded for our Trust in Him, just as Elizabeth, mother of John the Baptist.
We are warlike in battle when we pray.
Compassionate in sorrow when we don’t know what to pray.
Determined in grace to find answers when our human ones need God’s.
Merciful and encouraging to those that have been taken advantage of- providing them a safe place of refuge in our company (through Gods love in you)
You are a feeler, a seeker, and sensor of great things- most of all beauty even within the broken- we don’t give up finding hope in turmoil.
When life has blocked our path we allow Gods tears and blood to mark a new one- a covenant to us, for us, marked with a rainbow just like Noah- a promise to never destroy mankind again.
The valour we hold is like the strength a butterfly needs to come out of its cocoon- without the struggle to escape the cocoon, that butterfly dies. If someone were to help that butterfly escape the struggle and let them out that butterfly will never fly and it will surely die.
Fly on Women, Fly on. May God teach us to fly even in our struggles... as we know He already does!